


coming out: for fun or for profit

by defconfuck



Category: Veep (TV)
Genre: Bisexual Dan Egan, Coming Out, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-28
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-12-25 14:35:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,218
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18263321
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/defconfuck/pseuds/defconfuck
Summary: After Dan gets fired, he comes up with a scheme to revive his name.





	coming out: for fun or for profit

Dan is not often one for backup plans. A plan should be good enough so that if something goes wrong, it would still be beneficial to Dan, or whoever’s ass he’s kissing at the moment. If you have a backup plan, then your first plan is a shitty plan. There are a few exceptions, however, like his Backup_Plan_exec_3.4 plan, which he started plotting the moment Selina became president. It’s backup for getting fired, which is not something he planned to do, but nobody plans on getting fired. It just happens. And it happened.

Now, this plan is absolutely vital to his survival in D.C., because if he’s gonna distract the world from the fucking data nightmare he’s trapped in, he has to make some waves.

Putting the plan together was fun. It gave Dan something to do during the few and far between lulls in the job. Being fired would be a big deal, and would have to be a big enough fuckup for him to be in deep water. He would need something big to pull him out. He’s lucky enough to have the perfect thing to make a lot of people look at him, and not necessarily in a bad light. He’s bisexual. Right now, people are homophobic enough for it to be a big deal to come out in Washington, but it would also carve him a niche of openly bisexual politician, and win the hearts of liberals everywhere. 

But if Dan is gonna come out on top, someone has to come out on bottom. No pun intended. That person would have to be Selina Meyer, the woman responsible for his untimely Washington death. His coming out would have to drag her down in some way. The outing would have to appear out of his control. If his sexuality surfaces suspiciously soon after he gets fired, it would look like he got fired for being bisexual. Then sparking outrage against the Meyer administration, and he looks like nothing more than a victim of homophobia, ready to be swooped up into the ranks of any politician who needs the LGBT vote. 

It would also be another type of win for Dan, since he’d been waiting for the right opportunity to tell people. Sure, when he was in his 20s, the secret was fun, and kept him looking like the heterosexual playboy he wanted to appear as. His gaydar was impeccable and sleeping his way to the top was made easier with more options. Men had all the power anyways. (not that that’s good, it's just the way it is). Now he was in his late 30s, and being in the closet was just kinda sad. Of course, he wasn’t going to come out if it didn’t mean political gain, so he just waited for a good moment. Now the occasion was here, and he was just a little bit nervous. Not London levels, however, he had it under control. 

He’d been sitting on the photos for a good while. He had paid a photographer to get some pictures, shot poorly on an iPhone so it would seem like someone recognized him and decided to capture the moment. He made sure his face was visible in at least one photograph, but that his partner’s identity would be obscured, although clearly male. Picture 1 was of them making out in a parking lot, this was proof that they were romantically entangled. Picture 2 was of them side by side, Dan looking over his shoulder to see if anyone else was there, making his face clear to the camera. That was proof that Dan was in the picture. The pictures had to be ready beforehand, so he could release them immediately.

Now, he was sitting in his car on Easter Sunday, fucking furious that they would let him go before Ben, the menopausal human hernia. He steeled himself. He could win the situation. He picked up his phone, and began an email to Leon West from an anonymous email address. When he pressed send, he felt a cold sense of relief wash over him. He was in control. 

 

***

Leon West declined to publish the pictures on account of integrity or whatever. He sent it to a few trashier publications, and before Easter was over, the news broke. Dan guesses two people rose from the dead this Easter.

 

***

 

White House  
4:56pm

Amy is the first one to get the notification. She has a google alert set up for everyone in the office, and it comes in handy quite often. This is one of those times. Her and the team are in a meeting in the Oval Office, debriefing the day, when her phone chimes. She checks it.

“Holymotherfuckingchristonacross,” is all she manages. She freezes, staring at the photos on her phone.

“What the fuck is it now?” Selina spits at her. All Amy can do is stutter.

Ben chimes in, “Yeah, you’re giving us a deer in the fucklights kind of look.” 

“I-Uh, um,” Amy hands her phone to Selina, who’s looking at her expectantly. “Just, look.”

Everyone else in the room exchanges confused glances. Amy looks like she’s about to burst, but Selina just looks confused. She puts on her reading glasses, “is that Dan?”

“Yes, ma’am.” Amy says.

“Holy shit.” Selina’s eyes widen in shock, and she turns to Amy, “Did you know?”

Amy shakes her head, “No, ma’am.”

Kent pipes up, “Care to share with the rest of the class?”

Selina looks up from continuing to study the photographs and sighs. “Dan’s gay,” she shrugs.

Gary gasps girlishly, and someone whistles. Mostly, everyone is just stunned.

Mike breaks the silence. “Guess we never saw that coming, huh.”  
“Huh,” Ben echos. 

Selina screws up her face and inhales like she is going to say something, but lets the breath out as an exhale on second thought. 

At this moment, Sue walks in. She pauses momentarily and looks around at the stewing faces. “What’s going on?” she says in her usual monotone. 

“Dan is gay. Can you believe it? I mean he always seemed so into women,” Selina says. 

“He could be bisexual,” Sue mentions. “my cousin is like that. I thought everyone knew he was interested in guys?”

Mike shoots her a strange look. 

“I mean, it is pretty clear to anyone who’s seen him in a room with another man.” Sue continues. She drops a file onto Selina’s desk and walks out.

Ben shrugs, and goes back to his phone. Selina keeps opening her mouth like she wants to say something, but shutting it on second thought. She repeats this several times until she finally speaks. “Do you think, he, you know,” she makes an unidentifiable gesture, “gives or receives?” 

“Ten bucks says he gets fucked,” Ben says.

Selina looks at Amy, “What do you think?”

Amy looks taken aback for a moment, then makes a scrunched up face when the question sinks in, “I dunno, why are you asking me?” she stutters.

“Well, I just thought, since, you know, you’ve slept together,” Selina begins.

“Gross, we are not talking about this.” Amy cuts her off, and hurriedly leaves the room.

The room stews for a moment, half the people not caring, half lost in thought. 

Until Gary pipes up, “I think Dan tops.”

**Author's Note:**

> okay so this is my first fic, like ever so please give feedback! constructive criticism is welcome. lmk if you want more chapters i have an idea about where this could go.


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